Harold's Kingdom

    I had hoped I was past anxiety (panic) attacks,  but then had one on Saturday.  And I had nobody to fight and nowhere to run.  But I survived it, as always, and will probably always have to endure it from time to time.

   Yeah,  the shit's on.  I'm re-enrolled, re-registered, and re-assigned.  God, I'm phuquin stupid.

   I've decided to return to school in the fall to finish my BA in English/Creative Writing at Penn State- Erie.  There remain 80-some credits from my last stint as a returning adult student, which ended badly for personal reasons that are too long and complicated to relate in this post.  I need about 4 semesters to graduate (121 credits total).  Wishing myself luck.....

   Let me begin by saying I'm still feeling great.  My back is healing up nicely.

 

    People like to say, " Everything happens for a reason".  I don't subscribe to this theory,  but rather to chaos,  which I believe the universe runs by.  In my mind, "Every reason is because of a thing", ie: a choice you made, a thing that crossed your path, an occurance that changed your life from that point forward.  Things appear to happen at random within a body of things that CAN possibly happen (Murphy's Law).  One must be careful what one does and the decisions one makes, as it will affect the outcomes in one's life. 

 

  Anyway,  as an example:  who would've thought that on Wed. the 4th of June, 2008 I would be the one that found my next door neighbor hanging by the neck in his garage?  I happened to be home,  cleaning windows, and puttering around the house drinking coffee,  when my neighbor Acsi came over to ask if I'd seen her father-in-law.  She couldn't find him anywhere ( he was elderly),  and was frantic.  She started driving around the neighborhood looking for him.  So I came out to help look,  and went around back to their garage and peered through the windows;  and there he was hanging there.  He had been depressed since the death of his wife a couple years ago,  couldn't speak English, and had nobody to talk to.  They are from Romania,  and moved in about 10 yrs. ago.  Acsi and her husband Dorin are very upset ( it was his father).  The funeral was Sat. June 7th, 2008,  and then a wake.  All the other local Romanians came and went all week.  It was very sad.  After the funeral,  I stayed at Lakeview Cemetary to look for my great-great granfather and grandmother's graves, which are there, as well as my great-grandparents and grandparents.  I knew where their's were.  I finally found the graves of my great-greats,  and it was just a short distance from my neighbors grave (chaos).

 

   So here's to Lazar Narita,  and his wife Maria,  layed to rest in Erie, Pa. after coming from Romania.   I will miss them.